Dear Lover

+

Please feed my soul or I’ll be forced to let go

Wasted are my thoughts. Thoughts of those who weren’t worth my time. Empty shells have come knocking, but once they saw my spirit they fled, leaving less then dust behind. There is one, who is different from the rest.

He does more than feed my soul, he nourishes my psyche. He loves me wholeheartedly. I whispered words of affection into his ear. And he asked me to say them aloud, strong and clear.

“Dance with me, transcend with me, challenge me, be everything I ask you to be, be more than what I ask you to be, be song and dance for not me, but for you. Be life and death with me, progress with me, kill time with me, intertwine both our minds for me, smile with me, cry with me.

For you, I would write a million poems because there are simply not enough words to describe the type of being you are.”

Some say truth hurts and a lie is bittersweet, but I would rather you, be honest and kind to me. Say what you mean, don’t be silent because in this moment, there exist just you and I. In this space we share, this small amount of time. We are in unison in almost every kind of way. We are limited, when it comes to how long we stay. And he never calls me beautiful, because beauty never lasts. But he calls me, his and I tell him every night that he is mine. For we are flawed and free, but unlike our flesh, this love will always be.

The boy who spoke with the Ocean

+

Once upon a time, there lived a boy.

He sometimes wished he could be like everyone else. He wished he could live an interesting life. Live in the moment, be wild, crazy and humorous. But he was none of those things, nothing close to it. He laid awake on countless nights wondering, why do he felt things so deeply? Why hold on, when others so easily let go. Why did he care so much?

“I’m not special, so why can’t I connect. Why can’t I find someone who understands. Someone who listens. Truly listens.” He thought quietly.

He would go from home to school and then back again, except on Sundays. On Sundays he would explore the forest behind the white picket fence, that ended the property his family owned. His family didn’t have a whole lot, but they were content. The boy on the other hand longed for more. He would spend much his Sundays wandering the forest, looking for answers to his questions. Only to hear nothing but, the forest’s silent reply. Everyone he had ever met always fell too short of what he needed. He went on through life hoping to have his questions answered. Only to find disappointment and vexation.

One day he decided to run far away from home. And he did, he ran pass the skyscrapers that the touched the sky, pass anyone he would ever recognize. Now nothing that surrounded him was familiar. Ahead there was a field of tall grass that led him straight to the ocean. He sat down in the sand looking straight ahead into the immense sea. “I’ve been everywhere, met what seems like everyone, but still my questions go unanswered. Why must it be this way?” He sighed. Looking down at his feet, he picked up a nearby seashell and toss it into the the water. “You’ve come for answers, and it is answers you shall receive.” The ocean whispered. “You have been searching your whole life for an explanation to why you are the way you are. So tell me child, have you found your answer while searching outwardly?” “Well no…” The boy replied.

“So tell me, why have you continued to search for something in the physical world. When the answer lies inside of you? No two people are alike. Some are more connected to purpose than others, but if you continue to try and find happiness and comfortability in others, you will always be displeased. So look deep into my current and learn from what it is you see. Love, evolve and grow. But do not expect others to come on this journey with you. Because this journey was crafted just for you. Human beings will always let you down, if you attach them to your happiness. So don’t expect more, just be more and the rest of the world will follow.” The ocean howled. The boy sat confused for a moment, but then stood up on his feet, stretching his arms to the sun. “Thank you, great mighty ocean. I should be heading home now. I’ve got a lot to discover!” The boy said with a grin. The ocean smiled back with a crashing wave. “The sun will set tonight, but it will rise again every morning. And so will you.”

you melt me

We had made eye contact more than than once, twice. Now going for a third time, our eyes locked like lions on the prowl. My eyes wandered from his hair line, to the bridge of his nose, down to his slightly plumped lower lip, where I then looked away. Across the bar, he sat with two other men, friends I assumed. They were way too busy debating, who would win the football tournament to notice the exchange of our hungry looks. My friends, on the hand, had abandoned me to go dancing on tabletops with all the other alcoholics. His eyes caught mine again… glazed over from being lightly buzzed, I guess he was an alcoholic too, but it didn’t matter to me. The loud music blaring static in the background didn’t matter, neither did the sixty year old drunk over my shoulder, who insisted on buying me drinks the whole night. None of it mattered. All of a sudden he bit down on his lower lip, so deliberate, so sensual. It seemed as if we were in a room all alone, lit only by a single candle, with the faint sound of harsh acoustic roots and blues. This is what I imagined of course, none of it was real. I can remember, wishing I too was drunk like all the others, so I could muster the courage to walk right up to him and demand that he come home with me. But I wasn’t drunk, matter fact I was 100 % sober. Sober, miserable and lonesome staring into the eyes of my dubious, impending lover. Would he come to me or me to him? I played the various scenarios in my head over and over again, but still nothing. We both sat quietly at across road, waiting for the light to turn green. Hours later, I was calling a taxi for my two intoxicated friends, so my poor car seat wouldn’t receive, yet another victorious stain and that’s when he appeared. Locking eyes again, he paused and then continued to enter his car, speeding off into the night. “Well that’s that.” I thought , getting into my car. While driving, I approached a red light. Suddenly, I heard the revving of a car engine and there he was sitting to the left of me. He rolled his window down and with a smirk asked, “Will you come home with me?” I looked down shyly, then back at him, the light was green and we both sped off into the night.

His lips were on mine, before we even entered his place. The taste of his lips so soft, but threatening. His tongue and mine intertwined, as if it were fate that had brought the two together. His hands searching his back pocket for a key, distracted by the feeling of my waist, my hips pressed against his. I distanced my lips from his, allowing him to open the front door. He hit on the light switch, then gestured me to enter before him. It was small and crowded with piping still exposed. He reached into a cabinet behind the door, pulling out a match and lighting a candle in the middle of the floor, I turned off the lights. “So…” he whispered softly walking closer towards me. “What’s your name?” I looked down at my feet searching for the confidence to lie. “My name? My name is … um Honey.” I lied. “Honey, huh? Well, don’t you want to know my name Honey?” He grinned. “Um no… no I don’t. I think it’s better that way, don’t you?” I responded nervously. He stepped closer, his hands drifting from my face to my hips to my hands, guiding me to his bedroom. “It’s not much, but it’s all I’ve got.” He mumbled. It was in that moment, that I felt a rush of anxiety, like I suddenly forgot how to breathe. “Do you have a bathroom? I just want to get more comfortable…” I muttered. “Yeah of course, it’s to the left.” He replied with a confused look on his face. After entering the bathroom, I locked the door behind me, glaring into the mirror at my own reflection. What was I doing here? How did I end up here? I splashed cold water onto my face, prying farther into my own thoughts. Was I really going to sleep with this man, this stranger? I have never done anything like this before, this daring, this stupid. These were the types of situations I was taught to avoid. I’ve never been so trusting, why was it different with him? I was completely drawn to him, for reasons I, myself were unaware of. So many thoughts raced through my head. Was this just a physical attraction, lust? No, there was more, or was there? Why did I allow myself to get to this place. He could be a murderer or a pervert, I had to be smart about this, I thought. I started to pace back and forth, back and forth, until I stopped, took a deep breath and slowly opened the bathroom door. The sound of smooth acoustic was playing on the radio. I walked back to the bedroom in nothing, but my fine silk lingerie, to find him passed out across his bed. “Beautiful…” I whispered. Then proceeded to lie down onto the sofa in the living room.

The next morning I woke up to the sound, ‘Like real people do’ by Hozier, birds chirping and the smell of burning waffles. I lifted my head from the sofa to find him standing there in the outfit, only God could design. “Good! You’re awake!” He shouted. “And you’re naked!?” I squealed covering my eyes. He busted into laughter. “So you’ve never seen a naked man before aye? I cooked breakfast, I think they’re a little underdone.” He said cocking his head sideways, looking strangely at the scorched waffles. “Under?” I chuckled. “Hey, I just wanted to say thank you, I feel so dumb… I mean, I don’t even know your name.” I said shamefully. “Well, I would say we are in the same boat… HONEY?” He laughed holding my driver’s license in his other hand, giving me that same devilish grin. “Looks like you’ve been waiting for the light to turn green. Well, what are you waiting for, honey.” He whispered placing the burnt waffles beside me on the sofa. I smiled slightly and then our lips met. “Can I ask you a question?” I asked pulling out of our embrace. “How would you describe a kiss like ours?” I muttered kissing the sides of his neck, up then down, then up again. ” Like… fireworks, you know like a star waning with countless titanic explosions, a supernova. A gentle, but fatal supernova.” He whispered softly in my ear. His hands held me so gently, so close, so warm. I was so much like the candle lit in the middle of floor from the night before and he, so much like the match.

“You…You melt me.” I smiled.

Barefoot Angel

+

Barefoot angel

No one told you, that you were meant for more

The world feeds you propaganda, tells you your destiny cannot extend beyond these four walls

No one showed you how to use your wings, how to soar

They ridiculed you for not having lavish material cover the soles of your feet.

But you know what they don’t and you see because they won’t

You, birthed on this earth among them

You don’t have to prove your worth

And you know they wouldn’t have to cover their feet, if they didn’t pollute the earth. You are fully aware that they’ve given you tools to make you numb. But you were born benevolent and you will teach them all to love