Tag: expression

expression

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If pleasing is a personality type

Then useless is the feeling, when they pull away

I know everyone needs their space

But I’m floating trying to find my way

Loyal to a fault

Feelings still hard to convey

Sometimes wanting leaves me in disarray

The sky is grey, the world is up in flames

Don’t want the pain to hardened my heart

Don’t look away, can’t you see I need support

It’s all about what you can do for them, these days

It’s all about “I”, everyone is selfish, in this age

I think about the past, I hear the ancestors call, I’m trying to free them all, but I’m still weighed down by the chains that they had

I think about the future and what their lives might produce because of me.

The pressures on, the pressure strong.

I think about the present, and how I love your presence because you can save me from it all

I feel you all around, I become overwhelmed

Because no one on this earth understands me in my entirety like you do

It’s not voodoo, it’s not magic

It’s your love and your grace

And if I could see you in this moment

I would give you the greatest form of an embrace

Because I want to be like you in every way.

I want the world to feel your love

I want it to know that it too can heal and be soft like I am, when I’m with you.

writing you into existence

More than love

I want peace

I desire a type of friendship, that challenges me

A fresh perspective, home and a wild fire

burn like a Forrest fire, don’t come for me and mine

But you’ve got options and a limited amount of time

You’ve got access to them all, everyone has a body, but can you see their soul

What makes me holy is that I’m kind

Soft and sweet like lemons squeeze for summertime

I think you could learn a thing or two from me

I think I could reach my potential, if you ride with me

I know you know you’re beautiful

I know you know you’re fine

Many poor souls fall head over heels for you

Must be the brown that’s in your eyes

Or maybe it’s blue like the sea or my favorite color, the perfect shade of green

I’ve got scars on my face, subtle space between my teeth, far from perfect, imperfect actually.

But perfectly made and beautiful.

I’m not the kind that of beautiful that has no flaws, but the kind that is very much flawed and I talk to someone who told me I was a fish in a bowl

And I laughed and said I’m sorry my friend for you’re mistaken, but I am not the fish you see I am to ocean it swims in

I don’t mean to sound cliche, but please know that I’m not like the rest.

I don’t care about physique of you, so there’s no need to try and impress

But I would like to undress your mind, that spiritual essence that’s lives, it’s divine

Late night drive, breakfast in the morning

Sweet red wine

That bob Marley, is this love type of vibe

Energy futuristic, skin thriving, deep diving into the pool of our insecurities, healing our trauma, caressing our pain, loving our flaws

Been through it all, but I’ve got hope and I’ve got faith

And once I’m done with you

You’ll believe in love, you’ll learn to dance, you’ll believe in salvation, miracles , you’ll watch the stars and wonder how they align perfectly, without God even trying

Meteorites striking, fire to the dirt

I’ll be a good listener, as long as you do your part as my protector

And With skin like the soil of the earth

How could you ever underestimate the magnitude of your worth



The human condition

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Racing

It was like fighting the wind.

It was like trying to rewind the clock.

It was proving your worth every second of your life.

It was thinking that they might understand because they share the same face as I do.

It was my heart racing, every time I laid eyes on another article, video, or tweet.

It was anger, it was fury, it was grief.

It was how little we seemed to care. Another lifeless body, in between the photos on our feeds.

That thing about me that everyone loves so much, seeing the best in people was starting to fade.

Because I was letting go of how I wanted the world to be, now seeing it for how it is.

It’s hatred.

A sickness that’s embedded in this land.

It is the ego of man.

It is the envy, it’s sin.

I pray to God because he lives within.

He tells me that they are all safe in his arms.

He tells me that that there is no longer any suffering that they must endure.

He tells me that it’s sweet, he tells me to hug myself and to love deeply.

For how could I assume anything that’s beautiful is mine. For it is a gift from the one, who I love more than life.

So I will give this gift of light to all, whether they are friendly or unkind.

They will feel his light and freedom will ring like bells upon high

Because it is his greatest wish, for us to find it.

For with love, we are free.

happy endings

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My story is not over.

My journey has just begun.

Just because one person couldn’t see my value, doesn’t mean that I am left with none.

There’s beauty all around me, but I’ve been too timid to live a life of just all fun.

But he makes it easy, he makes me want to run.

His eyes are like a supernova, right before it’s blast into oblivion.

Skin wrapped around me like the ocean waves crashing deep into white sand beaches.

“That’s my favorite thing about you.”

He says. I laugh.

Why? I reply,

“This skin of mine is flawed and scarred.”

And then, he moved uncomfortably close, and a feeling of safety filled my heart.

Kissing my forehead, his lips transferring all his warmth. He whispers,

“I love the scars and I love the flaws.

And more importantly, I love your skin because all of it is yours.”

no longer

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I will no longer beg for love

I will no longer beg for acceptance

I will no longer beg for attention

I will no longer beg for approval

I will no longer beg for friendship

I will no longer beg for availability

I will no longer beg for compassion

I will no longer beg for you to call me on the phone instead of sending me a text message

I will no longer search for meaning in shallow waters

I will no longer beg

People will show you who they are soon enough

Don’t get so trapped in who you want them to be, that you don’t see the person they are already

Do not beg, for all that is meant for you will come and never leave.

is freedom far from here

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I go to bed, I wake up and it’s still on my mind

There are small spaces in time, like when watching queen and slim at midnight

Where I’m puzzled by the thoughts that drift by

Life is short and then, it’s long when we work that 9-5

I repent, I cry out, asking him to save me and bring me to the front of the line

Where the water is crystal clear and I know in my heart that my mother will never again cry

We all stand together strong, even though we are all broken and we have all been wronged

And it’s so familiar, but we stay sane

And we laugh to translate the pain and we dance and we sing

We call out and we scream names

We say, that we are indeed emotionally unavailable, dead inside

Quick to cut people out of our lives, use them for our own pleasure, our dark delight

But no one wants to be used, and once upon a time the abuser was abused

All they desire is to be the first and only choice

All anyone wants really, is to be loved and have that love reciprocated without uncertainty, without thinking twice

I asked everyone around me, who it is that they wanted to be

And my favorite answer by far, came from the elderly man, who said that, all he wanted was to be free

Lion’s Den

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Lightning bolt skies

Thunder percussion when your hips thrust into mine

Fear and pleasure has since filled my mind

I wish I gave it all away to you

I wish you weren’t so distant too

I wish I could read your mind

I wish it wasn’t constantly on mine

My fingers explored the different textures of your hair, curly, coils, where my fingers glided through, it isn’t fair

How I traced the landscape of your body strong, skin soft, kissing all of your scars

That level of intimacy, the pleasure I know in my heart, I have no right to feel.

The taste of you has yet to drift from my lips

And the image of you, can’t seem to escape me

The bass of the music drowns out all the words I wanted to say, and all that remained was foolish nervousness and a girl in dismay

I got lost in time, it’s now midday

Oh I wonder, what would have been your response, if I said what it was I really wanted to say, asked you to stay?

The reality is, that you didn’t stay and you don’t respond when I ask, if you’re okay

And I shouldn’t expect you to give more than you’re willing to, for those reasons are yours and yours alone.

All I know is that I want to occupy that space again.

I want to get lost in it, I want to feel you all around. I want my world to be turned upside down.

Somewhere deep in your lion’s den, where I can take all of you, every particle, every piece and feel you bring light into me.

Now that I’m awake

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I want to show you what light looks like when your feet are planted onto the darkest parts of the moon.

I want to show you, the essence that remains there, still undiscovered by you.

I want our twin souls to dance through the dangers of the depths

I want to feel the overwhelming circulation of my blood boiling, from just the warmth of your breath on my neck.

I want to explore the deepest cracks of your mind, that place where all that exist is matter, space and time.

Can you read my thoughts, without seeing the movement of my lips?

Can you acknowledge the fact, that you exist, simply because of the powers that are within the span of a woman’s hips?

Before me, there were many who gave their nutrients away, although they weren’t ready.

But this fruit is rich and pungent, and there’s nothing quite like indulging in fruit, when it’s ripened and ready.

Now that I’m awake, I can’t possibly go back to being asleep.

And I find it difficult to take interest in those who have yet to realize, that they are still living, in a dream.

Dear Lover

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Please feed my soul or I’ll be forced to let go

Wasted are my thoughts. Thoughts of those who weren’t worth my time. Empty shells have come knocking, but once they saw my spirit they fled, leaving less than dust behind. There is one, who is different from the rest.

He does more than feed my soul, he nourishes my psyche. He loves me wholeheartedly. I whispered words of affection into his ear. And he asked me to say them aloud, strong and clear.

“Dance with me, transcend with me, challenge me, be everything I ask you to be, be more than what I ask you to be, be song and dance for not me, but for you. Be life and death with me, progress with me, kill time with me, intertwine both our minds for me, smile with me, cry with me.

For you, I would write a million poems because there are simply not enough words to describe the type of being you are.”

Some say the truth hurts and a lie is bittersweet, but I would rather you, be honest and kind to me. Say what you mean, don’t be silent because in this moment, there exist just you and I. In this space we share, this small amount of time. We are in unison in almost every kind of way. We are limited, when it comes to how long we stay. And he never calls me beautiful, because beauty never lasts. But he calls me, his and I tell him every night that he is mine. For we are flawed and free, but unlike our flesh, this love will always be.

The boy who spoke with the Ocean

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Once upon a time, there lived a boy.

He sometimes wished he could be like everyone else. He wished he could live an interesting life. Live in the moment, be wild, crazy and humorous. But he was none of those things, nothing close to it. He laid awake on countless nights wondering, why does he feel things so deeply? Why hold on, when others so easily let go. Why did he care so much?

“I’m not special, so why can’t I connect. Why can’t I find someone who understands. Someone who listens. Truly listens.” He thought quietly.

He would go from home to school and then back again, except on Sundays. On Sundays he would explore the forest behind the white picket fence, that ended the property his family owned. His family didn’t have a whole lot, but they were content. The boy on the other hand longed for more. He would spend much his Sundays wandering the forest, looking for answers to his questions. Only to hear nothing but, the forest’s silent reply. Everyone he had ever met always fell too short of what he needed. He went on through life hoping to have his questions answered. Only to find disappointment and vexation.

One day he decided to run far away from home. And he did, he ran pass the skyscrapers that the touched the sky, pass anyone he would ever recognize. Now nothing that surrounded him was familiar. Ahead there was a field of tall grass that led him straight to the ocean. He sat down in the sand looking straight ahead into the immense sea. “I’ve been everywhere, met what seems like everyone, but still my questions go unanswered. Why must it be this way?” He sighed. Looking down at his feet, he picked up a nearby seashell and toss it into the the water. “You’ve come for answers, and it is answers you shall receive.” The ocean whispered. “You have been searching your whole life for an explanation to why you are the way you are. So tell me child, have you found your answer while searching outwardly?” “Well no…” The boy replied.

“So tell me, why have you continued to search for something in the physical world. When the answer lies inside of you? No two people are alike. Some are more connected to purpose than others, but if you continue to try and find happiness and comfortability in others, you will always be displeased. So look deep into my current and learn from what it is you see. Love, evolve and grow. But do not expect others to come on this journey with you. Because this journey was crafted just for you. Human beings will always let you down, if you attach them to your happiness. So don’t expect more, just be more and the rest of the world will follow.” The ocean howled. The boy sat confused for a moment, but then stood up on his feet, stretching his arms to the sun. “Thank you, great mighty ocean. I should be heading home now. I’ve got a lot to discover!” The boy said with a grin. The ocean smiled back with a crashing wave. “The sun will set tonight, but it will rise again every morning. And so will you.”