expression

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If pleasing is a personality type

Then useless is the feeling, when they pull away

I know everyone needs their space

But I’m floating trying to find my way

Loyal to a fault

Feelings still hard to convey

Sometimes wanting leaves me in disarray

The sky is grey, the world is up in flames

Don’t want the pain to hardened my heart

Don’t look away, can’t you see I need support

It’s all about what you can do for them, these days

It’s all about “I”, everyone is selfish, in this age

I think about the past, I hear the ancestors call, I’m trying to free them all, but I’m still weighed down by the chains that they had

I think about the future and what their lives might produce because of me.

The pressures on, the pressure strong.

I think about the present, and how I love your presence because you can save me from it all

I feel you all around, I become overwhelmed

Because no one on this earth understands me in my entirety like you do

It’s not voodoo, it’s not magic

It’s your love and your grace

And if I could see you in this moment

I would give you the greatest form of an embrace

Because I want to be like you in every way.

I want the world to feel your love

I want it to know that it too can heal and be soft like I am, when I’m with you.

writing you into existence

More than love

I want peace

I desire a type of friendship, that challenges me

A fresh perspective, home and a wild fire

burn like a Forrest fire, don’t come for me and mine

But you’ve got options and a limited amount of time

You’ve got access to them all, everyone has a body, but can you see their soul

What makes me holy is that I’m kind

Soft and sweet like lemons squeeze for summertime

I think you could learn a thing or two from me

I think I could reach my potential, if you ride with me

I know you know you’re beautiful

I know you know you’re fine

Many poor souls fall head over heels for you

Must be the brown that’s in your eyes

Or maybe it’s blue like the sea or my favorite color, the perfect shade of green

I’ve got scars on my face, subtle space between my teeth, far from perfect, imperfect actually.

But perfectly made and beautiful.

I’m not the kind that of beautiful that has no flaws, but the kind that is very much flawed and I talk to someone who told me I was a fish in a bowl

And I laughed and said I’m sorry my friend for you’re mistaken, but I am not the fish you see I am to ocean it swims in

I don’t mean to sound cliche, but please know that I’m not like the rest.

I don’t care about physique of you, so there’s no need to try and impress

But I would like to undress your mind, that spiritual essence that’s lives, it’s divine

Late night drive, breakfast in the morning

Sweet red wine

That bob Marley, is this love type of vibe

Energy futuristic, skin thriving, deep diving into the pool of our insecurities, healing our trauma, caressing our pain, loving our flaws

Been through it all, but I’ve got hope and I’ve got faith

And once I’m done with you

You’ll believe in love, you’ll learn to dance, you’ll believe in salvation, miracles , you’ll watch the stars and wonder how they align perfectly, without God even trying

Meteorites striking, fire to the dirt

I’ll be a good listener, as long as you do your part as my protector

And With skin like the soil of the earth

How could you ever underestimate the magnitude of your worth

The boy who spoke with the Ocean

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Once upon a time, there lived a boy.

He sometimes wished he could be like everyone else. He wished he could live an interesting life. Live in the moment, be wild, crazy and humorous. But he was none of those things, nothing close to it. He laid awake on countless nights wondering, why does he feel things so deeply? Why hold on, when others so easily let go. Why did he care so much?

“I’m not special, so why can’t I connect. Why can’t I find someone who understands. Someone who listens. Truly listens.” He thought quietly.

He would go from home to school and then back again, except on Sundays. On Sundays he would explore the forest behind the white picket fence, that ended the property his family owned. His family didn’t have a whole lot, but they were content. The boy on the other hand longed for more. He would spend much his Sundays wandering the forest, looking for answers to his questions. Only to hear nothing but, the forest’s silent reply. Everyone he had ever met always fell too short of what he needed. He went on through life hoping to have his questions answered. Only to find disappointment and vexation.

One day he decided to run far away from home. And he did, he ran pass the skyscrapers that the touched the sky, pass anyone he would ever recognize. Now nothing that surrounded him was familiar. Ahead there was a field of tall grass that led him straight to the ocean. He sat down in the sand looking straight ahead into the immense sea. “I’ve been everywhere, met what seems like everyone, but still my questions go unanswered. Why must it be this way?” He sighed. Looking down at his feet, he picked up a nearby seashell and toss it into the the water. “You’ve come for answers, and it is answers you shall receive.” The ocean whispered. “You have been searching your whole life for an explanation to why you are the way you are. So tell me child, have you found your answer while searching outwardly?” “Well no…” The boy replied.

“So tell me, why have you continued to search for something in the physical world. When the answer lies inside of you? No two people are alike. Some are more connected to purpose than others, but if you continue to try and find happiness and comfortability in others, you will always be displeased. So look deep into my current and learn from what it is you see. Love, evolve and grow. But do not expect others to come on this journey with you. Because this journey was crafted just for you. Human beings will always let you down, if you attach them to your happiness. So don’t expect more, just be more and the rest of the world will follow.” The ocean howled. The boy sat confused for a moment, but then stood up on his feet, stretching his arms to the sun. “Thank you, great mighty ocean. I should be heading home now. I’ve got a lot to discover!” The boy said with a grin. The ocean smiled back with a crashing wave. “The sun will set tonight, but it will rise again every morning. And so will you.”

The creator

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There’s nothing I want more than to be closer to my creator. For you have shaped my skin and bone. Made every beauty mark and scar. You stretched out the subtle space between my two front teeth. You made my hair so wild, it even defies gravity, and my skin the very shade of the earth, that we walk upon.

All this, so that I would remember to love myself, never settling for less than I deserve. You made sure to send people into my life who would help teach me, patience. Molded me with kindness and fire, so that I could push through adversity. You made a rough draft of my life, crumbled it up into a ball and said, I’ll let her decide. Whether she will or will not follow all my signs.

Love me either way, but constantly remind me that really, truth and raw beauty lies inside.

Le but de l’âme

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I could easily be that woman.

The agreeable one, the one who smiles and laughs…even when I find remarks less than humorous.

I could get married and have children

Cook and clean.

Look nice and delicate.

Be nice and delicate.

Capture my beauty through photographs,

I take of myself.

Be in the moment, live for now.

Love in seasons.

I could be that woman and many would love her.

You see, there is nothing wrong with a woman like this.

If anything, I would prefer to be her.

But she is not me, no matter how earnest the attempt.

I am a thought, always evolving.

Never satisfied…

How could someone love a woman like this?

One who rarely smiles,

One who rarely understands herself, but is in constant search for more,

More of what she, herself does not know.

Strange, how there are so many books, testimonies and scriptures explaining what it is that wise men seek…

Even the Bible states that a man of wisdom seeks knowledge.

But what of my longing, what of my questions?

The abundance of my happiness must stem from what?

Marriage, love, fertility, material belongings? All beautiful things. All fleeting, fleeting as am I in this moment. Fleeting like the short span that is a lifetime, but never like my words.

The soul’s purpose.

The Romantic

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Water spewing from the fountains in Italy or maybe it was France.

Another place, another time.

Somewhere on the Northern Hemisphere, where we met.

Surrounded by many,

but like none.

They didn’t know it,

but I did.

The sunlight kissed our skin from the heavens above.

Honey and pastel hues of pinks and blues,

back to the days, when I loved you.

What sweet undertones with ever growing addictive fumes.

There were many assorted delights,

in our picnic of two.

Where I enjoyed the simplest things in life,

like the presence of you.

Easily saying whatever it was that came to mind.

The feeling of your skin on mine.

The taste of strong ales and rosé,

my guess of your favorite type of wine.

In this moment time seemed to stop

as if you and I could forever control the clock.

The perfect rhyme, a pleasing hymn, for a ever so bitter, but lovely end,

to the tale of the romantic and her imaginary friend.

Organic

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I am a flower with a imagination like wild fire. Like a flower at night, I am cold, hidden and guarded, but once the night has left me and I feel the warmth of day. I’m opened, so easily. So use your senses and sense me.

See the wet drops of dew on my youthful feathers. Smell the flora of my sunflower petals. Hear the birds and bees who swarm and sing. See and touch my warm sun kissed spring. Don’t rush, I don’t mind. Please take your time, to taste my fresh, sweet honey. Isn’t it odd and kind of funny, how once you’ve had something natural and organically made, you no longer crave artificial, superficial things?